I want to use this post to get things off of my chest. Years ago, some event which I can't remember caused me to seek the life of a shy guy. I figured people (mainly girls) liked the shy guy. I saw other guys, who didn't stand much out in the group, get what I was looking for so I thought, hey, why not try it out.
So for years I've focused on sticking to my thoughts, staying in the background and hopefully receive what I wanted from people by being shy. Also, because I thought I was pretty interesting, I thought other people would find interest in me enough to approach me. Yeah, not really the best decision.
All this decision did was cause endless pain. I held onto the hope of people finding interest in me that it blinded me from finding interest in the people I know now. I constantly kept looking for the next best thing which would make me feel important. It was such a terrible decision. I lost many awesome friends and connections because I thought they didn't deliver what I wanted. But they did. They did plus more and I didn't want to realize it until now.
For all the people who I've done this too, I'm truly truly sorry. You have not done anything wrong to me for I have committed so much wrong to you. I've neglected, I've hurt, I've pushed away the people who did right to me for years.
So for what its worth, I'd like to try my best to fix my wrongs. I wish to connect back with all the people who I've wronged and somehow get back onto the right foot. I wish to be unconditionally grateful for the people that I know and the love they have shown to me because y'all deserve all the love that I can give.
If I have wronged you, please contact me somehow and tell me that I did. Tell me in the realest fashion so I know in my heart that I have something to fix. Thank you for your time in reading this and I hope all of you accept my apology.
